Right from the start of this, we should acknowledge that we probably missed the opportunity to make that title much more television-centric. We could have used memorable coffee spot names from TV, rather than lazily naming the global behemoth of high-falutin' and higher-priced coffee. It would have been so easy.

Perhaps “When your television station decides it wants to become “Central Perk” would have been better. Or substituting the name, “Luke’s Diner.” Or maybe “Cafe Nervoso.' (That one, like Starbucks, was at least based in Seattle, for the TV show where it frequently appeared.) Perhaps even a more esoteric reference, such as “The Peach Pit.” Or an obvious one for real television junkies: “Monk’s Cafe.”

If you recognize each of the five shows referenced above, congratulations. If you did so without even thinking about it, it may be time to turn off the set and take a break outside for a bit. Spoiler alert: We’ll name those shows at the end of this article.

In any event, we are here to discuss the announcement by Graham Media Group’s WDIV in Detroit, which has announced that it will be entering the coffee shop business this September. Listen, it would be easy to greet this news with “a haughty snort of derision” as we are known to do occasionally. (And by occasionally, we really mean a few times every day.)

Let’s process this news together, shall we?

A successful network-affiliated television station in the 14th largest television market in the country has decided, after at least some amount of thought and planning (we assume), to announce that it will be teaming up with a local coffee roaster to create “Fourgrounds”, a new spot for java and more in the trendy Motor City suburb of Plymouth, Michigan. The place is described as “a friendly, close-knit suburb known for its lively community events and small-town charm.” Color us disappointed to learn, in researching the place, that it is NOT named for the brand of car in which our fathers might have dropped “the f-bomb” for the very first time in front of us, many years ago. No, it turns out the town had the name many years before Chrysler slapped it on an automobile for the first time in 1928.

The wisecracks almost write themselves, without even needing to ask ChatGPT! Our future stand-up comedian self will absolutely say one day: “We didn’t know the local television business was in such bad shape!” (Anyone over the age of fifty should instinctively be speaking in their head right now: “How bad was it?")

Forgive us, but as we are typing this following line, we are reading it out loud in an almost perfect (to our ears) imitation of the great Johnny Carson saying:

“It was so bad that a guy running a Detroit TV station agreed to open their own Dunkin' Donuts!” “Clearly, he did so after spilling a large Dunkaccino in his lap, leaving the drive-thru!” And cue Ed McMahon shouting off camera, “HEY-YOOOO!”

A few historical notes are now needed: First of all, we know that Dunkin' dropped the “Donuts” from its name in a Sean Parker-esque name change a few years ago. Having lived in Boston for a few years, we say it was “wicked stupid” and refuse to use the shortened name. Second, we also know that Dunkin Donuts dropped the amazing Dunkaccino from their menu back in 2022, which only proves that they could be “even biggah chowdaheads”, as the faithful in Massachusetts might say.

We could write many more paragraphs trashing this “station coffeehouse” idea, and trust us–we already have in our heads. There is just one thing that keeps us from doing so: After chewing on it for a little bit, like a two-day-old cruller from…(well, you know where we’re going to say)–the truth is, we think it is a really fascinating idea.

Dare we say it? It might even be a little bit inspired.

Hear us out, because we have seen over many years just how interacting directly with your audience is a great way to connect with them. You know, the real people who (hopefully) watch your station? A prime example of this working we saw firsthand over the past few years, when we attended the Minnesota State Fair. That’s the second-largest state fair in the country (only behind Texas) in terms of attendance, with roughly two million people passing through the gates each August except for the six times since 1859, when it was cancelled due to minor problems such as wars and pandemics, including the most recent one way back in 2020.

The four major network affiliates have a significant presence at the state fair. Three have permanent buildings on the fairgrounds, and all produce a ton of live programming from the fair each day. We’re talking entire broadcasts, including anchoring regular newscasts at their locations. And fairgoers line up to sit in bleachers and be part of the live audience or to spin a prize wheel and win a branded trinket to take home.

Regular people who would be, as our favorite research director loves to say, “right in the freakin' demo, my friend!” God bless him, you can’t take the New York City out of a guy who analyzes ratings for a living.

Yes, the stereotypical answer would be to say that a local television station may not have any business opening up a community space that serves coffee to the locals. What are they trying to do, copy the whole “Capital One Cafe” idea? At least you can do your banking there, even if you can’t meet the “Capital One Guy” in person.

Maybe it’s enough to have a chance to see your local TV news anchors in person. Perhaps the idea of creating a real personal connection with your audience is more than worth the effort. We’re not suggesting that a station should embrace the premise that Nexstar’s Rockford, IL duopoly made into a morning news promo a few years ago.

Actually, TV stations have been riffing on showing their news anchors in diners for decades. This 1983 classic from Pittsburgh’s WTAE-TV is the earliest we remember.

The planned “Fourgrounds” is predictably drawing enthusiasm from the Mayor of Plymouth. According to WDIV’s web article announcing the venture, Mayor Suzi Deal is quoted as saying, “This will be more than just a coffee shop — it’s a gathering place.” WDIV, branded as “Local 4”, quotes its VP and General Manager, Bob Ellis, as saying: “We will be more local than ever before, and we believe that means something special.”

No immediate word was available on whether there will be daily specials at “Fourgrounds.”

Snarky comments aside, if a station is going to claim it is truly local–or in the case of all the Nexstar stations who had their own catchy song about “Loving Living Local” then maybe having a storefront on Main Street is a great way to connect with viewers doing something other than watching television or even looking at their phones. Indeed, there will be free WiFi at their caffeine “hot spot”, right?

At least patrons of “Fourgrounds” will be able to enjoy witnessing live daily broadcasts of the station’s “Live in the D” program.

We have always been fans of “streetside studios” for local stations. We have even worked on building a few of them for stations over the years. The idea has worked well every day for NBC’s Today show since Dave Garroway launched the morning staple back in 1952. Why Disney decided that its “Good Morning America” needed to move from its prime location in Times Square to a basement studio in Hudson Square is a question we can’t answer. However, we strongly suspect that money played a role in the decision-making, as well as pulling WABC-TV’s “Eyewitness News” out of its streetside digs uptown in Lincoln Square.

But if stations in the Twin Cities can be live daily from the Minnesota State Fair, we see no reason why WDIV can’t serve up both a cup of joe as well as its promised “Coffee with the Newsroom” events, featuring our Local 4 anchors and reporters.”

We do wonder whether those will include any sort of drive-thru option? (Give us a rimshot there, Ed Shaugnessy!)

If you made it this far, you deserve the answers promised earlier–which are “Friends”, “Gilmore Girls”, “Frasier”, “Beverly Hills 90210”, and of course, “Seinfeld.” Jerry even turned the whole “getting coffee” idea into his hit streaming series, “Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee.”

Don’t ever say “shows about nothing” don’t do well.

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